Another side of me you haven't known

Why can't I be mad at people whenever I feel so much upset? I just can't speak out my anger. I'll end up simply let it explode inside my head or the best way, cry!-yeah such a baby- I don't know, I'm too scared for breaking others' heart. I don't wanna hurt them just because the words which will come unexpectedly through my anger. Yes, sometimes I say a lot of offensive things to people, but it's just for fun, just a joke, and it is not because I meant to. But it's different when thing gets me crazy. I'll be so careful to pick words after words to be said at that kind of circumstance. 
However, I feel like I hurt myself for saving others' feeling. Is it the right thing to do? I still can't figure it out.
I'm losing words already, Idk I feel it too sensitive for me. Typing some words somehow reduce the anger which is accumulated inside.
The worst part is, I always end up forgiving others who hurt me even if apologize doesn't exist. I wanna for once can be mad at people, scold at them, shout, groan, yell whatever it is,  but the sad thing is I can't. Maybe I'm too weak? or maybe I'm simply a powerless person?

ps: I produce this desperate writing in the middle of doing my prose assignment. Yes yes I know I should've done it first, but blogging seems more interesting for meeeeh. Oh ya, don't be so bias btw, I'm not in a -galau-mood right now. I just want to type it out

We all have that one friend by Tatcher Joe

That video above pretty much tells all the stereotypes of friends :""") Why on earth you could be that handsome, Tatcher? #ilangfokus

Happy Birthday Chika!

So, today is the happiest day for one of my fellow; Chika! Many Happy Return :-) wohoooo

Instead of making video or Photo Collages, I'd like to write something for her in her special day.
The first time I met her, I thought she was calm or sorta thing like that, but then my guess was absolutely wrong. But then today I don't want to talk about how we can be sorta friend like now. I just wanna describe her in details .

Chika is one of my kost-mates, she is actually the first person that I met when I first moved to my kost-place. As what I've mentioned before, at first I thought she was calm, but then she gave me a fake impression actually. Luckily I'm good enough to accept her to be my friend nyahahaha. Let me tell you some of the things that she loves; Glee, Indomie, "the reason" by Hoobastank UHUK, Liliana Natsir, Daughtry, New Girl (-_-), wearing cotton shirt to campus everyday, playing criminal case,  and what else ya?kinda forget hahaha. Okay let's move on to things she hates; Fish, washing dishes, Korean stuffs
, her Ex nyahahahahaha, what else? girlie stuffs ( I mean like chiffon outwear), people(?)- nyah just kidding, just some types of people that she hates-

After telling things she loves and hates, now here's the list of things that I like and quite dislike about her:

(+)
She's very easygoing
She's a typical of friend that you want to talk to
She's honest
She's brave to stand for the right things
She's natural
She sometimes gives good advices
She loves to tell us her tragic love story  (which is funny somehow)
She loves to download glee videos (so I just have to watch it from her)
She is she
She can ride motorcycle too

(-)
She's a-very-moody-person
She's so grumpy
She's cranky
She's MAGERAN
She's quite bossy sometimes 
She's chatter

Despite all the goods and bads from her, we cannot ignore the truth that somehow God has His own plan to create her 18 years ago. Bad luck for us who accidentally have to meet her in our life HAHAHA JK. SO, Once again Happy Birthday Rizka Lenggogini who has thousands followers on Twitter. May the odd be ever in your favor! Alles Gute zum Geburtstag! Buon compleanno! feliz aniversário! joyeux anniversaire! gelukkige verjaardag! Met Ultah ea qaqa! Barakallahu Fi Umrik Ukhti - these all happy birthday versions are taken from google translate-


yummi chantixxxxxxxxxxxx

Say hello to cranky me

Recently when I participated in blood donor event, I've just known that my blood type is A+. It's actually quite confusing because my mom always says to me that my blood type is O+. HOAAAAH then I texted my mom asap after I was participating at that event and told this whole unexpected things. My mom was confused also since she felt so sure that mine is O+ (it is told by the hospital which I was born in).

BLA BLA BLA BLA about that blood donor event

SO I officially belong to the A+ GROUP! HOLA AMIGOS!
Then since I am so curious about "MY NEW BLOOD TYPE", I search some articles about that. The articles which mainly showed up are about the correlation between blood types and personalities. Have you ever felt curious about it? If it's a no then you're not my friends any longer. JK
After doing some researches, I found some true facts about my personalities according to my blood type, but I also found some so-not-true facts!

AGREE
1. People with A blood type tend to feel stress easily
definitely agree! I am easily stressed by things which go wrong from the plan I've made.

2. People with A blood type are perfectionists
couldn't agree more! It explains the first fact actually.

3.  People with A blood type are rigid
HA-HA shame on me! But then once again, it is true! I hate those who break the rules which have been made.

4. People with A blood type are sensitive
HA-HA yes yes yes yes. Next fact please!

5. People with A blood type cannot easily adapt with fast changing
I can explain it, according to me, I think people like me cannot adapt well with new and fast changing because we have to plan all things first then do that.Maybe that's the reason why others and I cannot easily adapt with it.

6. People with A blood type have strong characteristics
Sorry to say, but yes please.

7. People with A blood type are stubborn
HAHAHAHA Just don't argue with us then :p you know it already.

8. People with A blood type are introvert
Those who probably haven't known me for a long time might think that I'm an extrovert one, but you guess it wrong, buddy. I can hide all the secrets by myself without anyone knows about them.

9. People with A blood type tend to be cranky
HELLO OLD-NEW ME! I always be cranky all the time since I don't remember when. Deal with it, fellas!

DISAGREE

1. People with A blood type are shy
NAHAHAHAH CMON! Make me laugh! I'm so flattered by this one. It's impossible to make me shut my mouth actually.

2. People with A blood type are patient 
I hate patient-thingy and stuffs. I cannot wait for anything (except......)

3. People with A blood type  are untalkative
YES please try to sit next to me for 10 minutes, tell me how it feels like then ;)

4. People with A blood type tend to remain calm in any panic stiuations
DUDE PLEASE, SERIOUSLY? I've felt so panic once when I couldn't find my pen in my bag.

Despite the proven facts (according to me), I think it might be queer for people to recognize me as one of the A blood type members. Because the unproven ones are not-so-me in any levels. ckckck
At the end of the day, it's not your blood type which determines who you are and what to do, it's you yourself who have to shape the best version of your personalities :)

"Don't let others define who you are, you are not what society expect you to be, but you are the one whom society have to accept no matter what" - YZS

Buenas noches, amigos :)

Messed up

Fuck society, sorry to say. I hate people! I know social media is a place for people to freely expressing their ideas but that doesn't mean you can show what is right and make others feel as if they are worth no more than piece of shits. Oh cmon! I know I'm a sinner and you are truly a bunch of angel who falls to this horrible earth. I know you just "deliver" the messages to us who haven't understood about those and those rules, etc. But can you deliver it in "other" way? I mean without hurting others' feeling. Oh fuck you all.