Why can't I be mad at people whenever I feel so much upset? I just
can't speak out my anger. I'll end up simply let it explode inside my
head or the best way, cry!-yeah such a baby- I don't know, I'm too scared for
breaking others' heart. I don't wanna hurt them just because the words
which will come unexpectedly through my anger. Yes, sometimes I say a lot of
offensive things to people, but it's just for fun, just a joke, and it is not
because I meant to. But it's different when thing gets me crazy. I'll be
so careful to pick words after words to be said at that kind of circumstance.
However, I feel like I hurt myself for saving others' feeling. Is it the right thing to do? I still can't figure it out.
I'm
losing words already, Idk I feel it too sensitive for me. Typing some
words somehow reduce the anger which is accumulated inside.
The worst part is, I always end up forgiving others who hurt
me even if apologize doesn't exist. I wanna for once can be mad at people,
scold at them, shout, groan, yell whatever it is, but the sad thing is I can't.
Maybe I'm too weak? or maybe I'm simply a powerless person?
ps: I produce this desperate writing in the middle of doing my prose assignment. Yes yes I know I should've done it first, but blogging seems more interesting for meeeeh. Oh ya, don't be so bias btw, I'm not in a -galau-mood right now. I just want to type it out
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