random feeling

Hi! Kinda feel sad at this moment. I feel like I'm the worst daughter ever.
When I opened twitter just a moment ago, I found my friends are talking about the scores that they get for this semester. I'm totally hopeless and feel so much down. I can already predict the result and I know it won't be a good result. I feel like my performance through this semester hasn't been good enough. Actually, it's not just the fuckin annoying score that I worry about. It's all about my parents. I feel like I'm the worst daughter ever because I can't give them the best result. For every rupiahs that they've given to me (directly or not), I can't even give them any pride at all. Ah damn it! Why we all as human beings should be judged by some numbers. I know my parents put their soul in the line, so that I can happily go to university and get some money to be spent. And what the return that they will get from me? Nothing. No No No Nothing.
Maybe it's not a very big problem for some people, but not for me. I'm the one who will feel so much upset with myself for dragging me to the -not the best- place. Yes, since I was a little girl, I always have a big ambition to be the best (at least in the academic way). I wanna (at least) be the best at one point. Because I know I'm so lame in sport and music, etc.That's why I always push myself beyond my limit, but now I didn't have any fire that burning in my soul at all. It's all F-L-A-T!
I need you to guide me, I need you to always remind me, I need you to be here holding and hugging me with your warmest hug, I need you here to give me spirit, I need you here to enlighten my way, I need you here to help me. I need your help...I need you ya Allah :""(

College life + MPKT-A

Hi there, probably it is the longest break since the last time I posted something in this blog. Okay so what should I write right now? Kinda confuse actually. It's sort of a writer's block :| Oh btw I'm gonna have Final Tests this month ergh Godspeed! But the longer I study, Idk I just feel lazier than ever to go to campus. College life is so much worse than high school. The freedom which is given to us makes me careless about everything in my surrounding. No wonder why so many seniors of mine feel so lazy to enter classes. I love the fact that I am given with so much freedom in college, but I hate the fact that the're no tight rules to control that freedom. Ei, I just realize that I talk a lot about how I hate college through my posts. But, actually college life isn't that bad after all. It's just bad. That's it. 
Btw, today is the last day of MPKT-A class. It's a mix feeling :) :( I love today because finally MPKT-A was over, but I hate today because I know that I'm not gonna meet in the same class anymore with my MPKT-A friends :"""( They've been so nice to me. We've been through many things together hahaha (okay it's so exaggerated) The point is, MPKT-A class 12 already gave me so many memories whether they're good or bad memories, they are memories that will last forever *cheers*
You wanna know the people in it? Let's check some photos of us :D

MPKT-A (AAAAAA)

I'm going to miss them a lot :') Hope we're gonna get A for this subject.

xoxo
Yummi